Though I am officially married, we no longer stay together. Things simply didn't work out. That would be a completely different post though. I confess that I am totally hooked to reddit , specially by spending lot of time reading opinions and view points of intelligent people. Here is one of the comments on a discussion topic "Is it OK for a person to want to stay single? Do we really need to be in relationships and marriage?", which I can immediately identify with.
Over five years ago, while rebounding from a marriage gone wrong, I got into a relationship with somebody who was in the same boat. I almost went from married one day to in a relationship the next. Now, the usual advice is that such relationships don't work out, but so far this one appears to be that perfect match. We get along just fine. We don't have everything in common, but enjoy doing a lot together so there's always plenty to do. We've lived together for about four years now and now own a house together. We never fight, life is peaceful, the sex is awesome, the cat is happy, it's all grand, right?
Honestly... I'm not sure. I've always had this feeling that I'd rather be alone. I daydream about it constantly. I like being by myself, but in a relationship you're expected to spend all of your time with that other person. She's the type that wants to be together constantly, making it even more difficult. I really have very little "me" time. I want time to play my guitar... I want to perfect my programming skills and play with new programming languages and technologies... I want to ride my bike everywhere and cast off the social norms... I want to listen to the music that I enjoy when I want it... I want to be more energy conscious... I want to simplify my life and cut back to the bare necessities and a few simple luxuries (my guitar, my laptop, my bicycles, and lots of free time)... you can't do those things in a relationship if the other person doesn't feel the same way.
I don't know why I always go right into relationships... I like girls too much and always get caught up in the whirlwind until I'm in so deep that there's no way out without hurting them. I hear her talking on the phone to her family... I only know the language via osmosis, but I can understand a lot of what she's saying, and I get glowing reviews... statements like "I never knew I could be so happy", "He's so nice, so perfect, so..." How could I ever ruin that?
Worse, the issue of marriage is coming up... I try to avoid it, but that was hurting her. We had a long talk about it and I try to say that I don't want to do that because it has religious connotations, etc but she suspects that I don't want to do it, and she's right. I'm content to continue on as is, but even though we're essentially just as tied together as if we were married I feel like that'd just be a bigger trap. I'm afraid that I'd feel even more trapped internally and that would drive me away completely... I say that staying together when there's no contract to bind us is more meaningful than if we had some external force holding us together, but she turns that around to say that I'm saying that it's easier to leave this way if I ever feel like it. Truth is, I feel like I'm more inclined to stay as it is now...
Phew... I guess that's a long way to say "stay single if that's what makes you happy." :-) I'm jealous of your situation!
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